Our international move with three kids during a pandemic

Greetings from Ukraine! It was intense (and it wasn’t pretty!) but we managed to pull off an international move with three kids under the age of six on January 14th. 

The move came during a pandemic and the busiest time of the year for TeenSHARP (college application season!) so it featured: 

  • A marathon move out night at the end of December that included a 2am drive to the Forget Me Not Families kiosk in Newark, Delaware to drop off toy/household donations
  • Support from Senator Coons’ office to get our passports back in time for our flight
  • Changing flights from the end of December to mid January because our passports didn’t arrive in time
  • An overnight packing session ahead of our flight out of JFK International on January 13th

Our last night at our place in Wilmington

Then it came time for the flight and what it was going to look like traveling internationally with three kids under the age of six. 

After rescheduling our flight our best option was JFK to Atlanta to Paris to Kyiv. We would fly out of JFK at 12:30pm EST on 1/13 and get to our final destination at 5:30pm EET on 1/14. 

The good news is that our flights were all pretty smooth and the children were pretty good given the long itinerary. We gave them each a grade for their performance: Zoryana got an A-, Nazar got a C-, and Taras got an A. To be honest, they were stellar for their age and the circumstances. But we have to keep the bar high. 🙂 

When we arrived in Kyiv it was snowing and we still had a bit of a drive to where we live in Novosilky. 

Our home in Novosilky is about 40 minutes outside of the downtown of Kyiv. The nearest city is Vyshgorod (a bedroom community for Kyiv) which has a population of about 31,000 people. 

We moved into a lovely AirBnB that was fully furnished that we have now agreed to rent for at least the next year. 

What’s even better is that the place came with a community of support that was orchestrated by our landlord who lives in the Poconos! Our neighbors helped us rent a car long-term within our first week (!), find a great nanny for Taras (an elementary school teacher with 30 years of classroom experience), and they continue to give us great advice as we get settled. 

One neighbor even has a chicken and sells us eggs and another woman nearby has a few cows and sells us milk!

Now that we’re at the one month mark, here are some updates and reflections:

Finding a preschool/Kindergarten– We found a great preschool/Kindergarten — Bambini — for the 3PAC (Taras will join at the school in May) and they love their time at school. They’re in school from 9am to around 6pm each day and instruction is delivered in Ukrainian. It’s at times frustrating for Zoryana that her friends don’t understand English but she’s adapting well and learning fast. Zoryana’s teacher speaks English so that has been very helpful. Fridays at Bambini are particularly a favorite for the kids as they bake every Friday. They also spend a considerable amount of time outside (even in the snow and cold!) so we’ve had to upgrade from coats to snowsuits!

YOU CAN CHECK OUT MORE PICTURES FROM OUR FIRST MONTH HERE

Working from abroad – While our location has changed, we’re still charging forward smoothly with our work at TeenSHARP. TeenSHARP’s work has been 100% virtual since last March so we’re able to stay engaged fully from Ukraine. We also recently launched The Proximity Project as a separate organization that supports organizations and leaders to better serve communities of color. With the seven hour time difference, we typically start our work day around 11am or 12pm and then work until 5:30pm. Then we are usually back to work around 8pm after the 3PAC go to bed and we’re available until midnight. The hardest part is evening events on the East Coast that require we hop on Zoom at 2am or 3am in the morning Eastern European Time!

Me after moderating a panel from 8pm-9pm EST/ 3am-4am EET

Internet maneuvers –  While our wifi in Ukraine is working much better than our wifi back in Wilmington, realizing there are some favorite sites and apps I couldn’t access on the internet here was a first for me. I tried to play my children’s music station on Pandora and learned it doesn’t work in Ukraine. Disney + on my phone? Denied! Accessing some of my US banking websites or some local news articles from Delaware? Nope! Not to worry… the expat Facebook groups have an answer for everything and I now navigate somewhat smoothly with a few added steps using VPN apps and plug-ins.

No snow days – It was snowing when we arrived in Kyiv and the snow and cold have been unrelenting over the last month. It got as low as -8F/-22C on our first weekend in Ukraine. Despite the snow, it doesn’t appear that “snow days” are a thing here. The kids have continued to go to school and I’m getting pretty adept at driving in snowy conditions.

Favorite foods – Borscht, holuptsi, varenki, vinegret, pelmeni…you name it!  We’ve all enjoyed eating a lot more Ukrainian food but Tatiana has been particularly ecstatic about having all of her favorite foods and tastes. The dairy tastes great here and we’ve got a great variety of stores and shops nearby. If you know Tatiana well you know that we spend a good amount of time in grocery stores (we’re regularly at Сільпо “Silpo” or Novus). And the kids’ school serves five meals a day and cooks great Ukrainian food on the premises. Zoryana and Nazar regularly come home and talk about the soup they ate at school or the persimmon they had for a snack. There are a few dishes we (me and the kids) haven’t gotten into yet — e.g holodets, selyodka, tvorog (farmer’s cheese) with smetana (sour cream), etc.— but the culinary transition has been smooth otherwise. 

Dinner at Aunt Lyuba's house was delicious

Feeling foreign – Tatiana has been exposing us to her childhood favorites, serving as our translator, and handling a lot of business that I can’t yet take care of without language proficiency. She is home after 16 years out of the country but in some ways things are foreign to her also. A lot has changed in Ukraine since Tatiana was 21. She has also never navigated the country as an adult with a husband and children. This means that we’re learning together how the education system works (e.g. we were asked to bring a set of pajamas for our kids to change into for nap time!), how to ask for gas at the gas station, how the healthcare system works, etc.

Exploring together – We’re using our relocation as an opportunity to stretch ourselves in new ways. In that spirit, Tatiana and I started doing private lessons with a kickboxing/MMA instructor a few weeks ago. We haven’t done anything like this in over a decade so it’s a major win we were still standing at the end of session one! Zoryana is also doing a Ukrainian folk dance class three days a week!

 Language learning – I’ve been loosely learning Russian since I met Tatiana in 2005 but I’m pretty beginner level with speaking and a little better with understanding. We’ve decided now to prioritize Ukrainian (both Ukrainian and Russian are spoken here) for the kids so I am starting from scratch with the language (although there are similarities with Russian). Before I take a formal class, I’m trying the Tim Ferris/Benny Lewis method. I’m focusing on the most common words/phrases and cognates and using Anki cards, DuoLingo, and the Ukrainian Lessons Podcast.

February 14th – This first month in Ukraine has gone particularly smoothly and I’m grateful that the children are handling the transition so well. But my update would be incomplete if I didn’t share that at least once a day we think about how unfair and painful it is that Tatiana’s mother (Lyudmila) is not alive to be here with us. Today (Valentine’s Day) is Lyudmila’s birthday and it is yet another reminder of the void in our lives. Lyudmila always wanted us to move to Ukraine and I remember telling her that I could not see how it was possible given our work and commitments in the United States. It turns out that it was possible indeed and we were so excited to let her know that we were planning a move to Ukraine when she last visited America. We will continue to carry her in our hearts and honor the sacrifices she made that allow Tatiana to move so smoothly across cultures and continents. 

2010 in Crimea

Thanks for reading this far. I will try to blog more regularly about our experiences so each post is not this long moving forward! Let me know if there’s anything you want to know that I didn’t address above. 

Here are a few topics I will try to get to soon: 

– Our very bumpy road trip to Aunt Lyuba in Chernhiv 🙂
– “Fear Setting” and our top five fears about the move that were unfounded
– Black hair care in Ukraine – my search for a barber and hair care products

11 Comments

  • Dell Scott
    Posted February 14, 2021 9:51 pm 0Likes

    Such an inspiring and amazing journey, thank you for sharing!

  • Tammy Arrington
    Posted February 15, 2021 12:44 am 0Likes

    Thank you for sharing in such details. I look forward to the next chapter.

  • Shelley Jones-Dillon
    Posted February 15, 2021 10:42 pm 0Likes

    Thanks for sharing and allowing us to be apart of your journey. Very excited for you all. Love the videos. Looking forward to reading more.

  • Marina Shillingford
    Posted February 16, 2021 7:53 am 0Likes

    WoW. What an adventure. Thanks for sharing. I felt like I was right there in the backseat experiencing this journey. Am looking forward to the next read. I think it’s amazing that the kids get to experience the Best of both worlds. They are at an age that they will never forget. Continue to be Safe & enjoy you all journey. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for everything you all have done and continue to do to improve our kids lives. We truly appreciate you all. All the Best.

  • Melissa
    Posted February 16, 2021 2:30 pm 0Likes

    I love the adventure you are all on as a family! So glad to know its going smoothly so far. Prayers to you all!

  • Andrea Layton
    Posted February 16, 2021 3:32 pm 0Likes

    This is an awesome experience for you and the children. Thank you for sharing this amazing journey. May God continue to shine over you.

  • Miss Marjie
    Posted February 17, 2021 2:22 am 0Likes

    WHAT!!???? Ukraine!? How fantastic and amazing and …. well, selfishly, sad for me. I have missed seeing your family on a weekly basis since the pandemic started and was hoping beyond hope that you all and I might return to the Music School in the fall. But… maybe you’ll find wonderful and inspiring music education there too! Thank you your sharing your wonderful adventures. You are an inspiration – on so many levels. Sending love and hugs to you all.

  • Assel Tutumlu, nee Rustemova
    Posted February 17, 2021 8:17 pm 0Likes

    My dears, thanks for the story! Can’t believe that after so many years US Govn’t had left the two-year home residency rule intact! Brrrr…. But now knowing that you are adjusting well makes me feel better. Wonder why have you decided on the Ukrainian, and not Russian? I understand political conditions and identity issues, but do you have any long-term plans to stay there? Have more questions 🙂 Writing with smiles, since I only now got the relocation news 🙂 Privet vsem!

  • Kira McDonnell
    Posted February 17, 2021 10:58 pm 0Likes

    Love, love, love reading this and hearing about your new adventure! So happy it’s gone as smoothly as possible. I’m still laughing about Nazar and his C- ;)’ I would have failed for sure!
    Keep sharing and inspiring, and enjoy every moment.
    Best wishes from Delaware!

  • John Carwell
    Posted March 4, 2021 7:51 pm 0Likes

    Hello Atnre, Tatiana, & 3PAC!
    I couldn’t stop reading. Very fascinating to learn about your experiences in Ukraine.. So happy that you all have settled in so well. Praying for continued blessings.

  • Pastors Corbin
    Posted March 4, 2021 8:03 pm 0Likes

    Pastors Lincoln
    saids, great blog!
    We’re both glad of the families smooth transition. We know you both made your Mom proud that the family was moving o Ukraine before her passing. May you all carry her memory forever. ❤️

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