Happy New Year!
Tatiana and I have always enjoyed reading letters from family and friends with personal and professional updates at the end of each year. We’ve aspired to send our own version of such letters for years but never could pull ourselves together. So this “top moments of 2019” post is our attempt to reflect on our year and update our community about the Poladko Alleyne crew.
One of the things we enjoy about the change of the calendar year is using it as a time for reflection and planning. We ask ourselves several questions that usually lead us to a place of deep gratitude. Each year brings its own low moments and triumphs but ultimately, we are reminded how blessed we are as a family.
Here are some of the questions we’ve discussed in case you might find them useful:
- What was our best moment of the year? Top ten moments?
- What are we most proud of this year?
- What was the worst thing we experienced all year?
- What were our biggest failures this year?
- What was the biggest argument we had this year as a couple?
- How did we do against our personal and professional goals we had for the year?
- What was the boldest thing we did this year? What made us leave our comfort zone?
We also added the following questions upon my sister’s recommendation:
- What new things did we discover about ourselves this year?
- What new habit or routine did you start this year, that has improved your life?
So here’s a recap of 2019 in response to the top moments of the year question above.
The birth of our son
On 9/19/19 our third child, Taras (Tah-rahse) Agyeman Poladko-Alleyne was born. There was a high chance that Taras would be my birthday twin on September 20th but he decided to make his entrance at 11:24pm. We were ready for him nonetheless and he has turned our 2-PAC into a 3-PAC (Poladko Alleyne Children). It was hard to imagine we would be parents of three children during the early years of our marriage when we had a stillborn child and several miscarriages. So while we’re sleep-deprived, sometimes overwhelmed and figuring out new routines, we’re ultimately in love and thankful to God for our PAC.
Zoryana’s first dance recitals
Because life conspires to see how much parents can juggle, Zoryana’s first recitals at the Christina Cultural Arts Center (CCAC) and First State Ballet were both on the same day. We went to the CCAC recital first and as we waited for Zoryana’s class to grace the stage I was on my soapbox about not recording the performance on my cell phone and enjoying the moment sans technology. As her class was about to come on the stage, tears started streaming down my cheeks and I quickly reversed course. It was her first time on stage after all and we were too excited/nervous/sentimental to wait for the official recording. So now we have our very own grainy, heartwarming videos (here and here) to remember this special day.
Dad’s hair care journey with Zoryana
Both of us had no idea what to do with Zoryana’s hair during the first few years of her life. In 2018, I started consulting the curly hair care experts in our network and watching Youtube videos. The #DaddyDo was born! In 2019 I started learning how to braid and studying up on the array of hair care products. 2019 was also about Zoryana wanting to do hairstyles by herself.
Family trips to Boston, Cambridge, and D.C.
We managed to take family trips to Boston/Cambridge and DC this year. The PAC enjoyed the parks, the Charles River, the Boston Children’s Museum, the Washington National Cathedral, the street dancers, seeing our friends in the area. But the hotel (and the hotel pool!) is always the highlight even if it meant that the four of us (at the time) were snugly sleeping in the same bed.
Speaking engagements and media appearances
Tatiana and I had some unique opportunities to share our expertise and ideas in 2019. Tatiana was quoted in the Washington Post, we both spoke at the Harvard Strategic Data Project annual convening, we were interviewed by WHYY, we delivered workshops for the young African leaders hosted as Mandela Washington Fellows at the University of Delaware, and I delivered a sermon at our church during the summer.
Extracurriculars with the kids
On most days I feel like an uber driver with the PAC’s intense extracurricular schedule. But we derive so much joy out of watching them learn and have fun in their various classes! Zoryana started Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in 2019 and continued with dance classes at First State Ballet and Christina Cultural Arts Center. Nazar and Zoryana both do music classes at the Music School of Delaware.
Rare Tatiana and Atnre time
With work and a growing family, it has been harder to find Tatiana and Atnre time. But we’re figuring out new ways to carve out those kid-free opportunities. This year, we made time for our first couple’s massage (baby steps) and we took a great business trip together to NYC that left us fired up about the next decade of our entrepreneurial pursuits.
Pahara NextGen fellowship
In 2019, I completed the Pahara NextGen fellowship program. It’s a professional development opportunity designed for a national cohort of leaders of color in the education sector. But it’s so much more than anything I expected when I was selected for NextGen. It was therapeutic, spiritual, and empowering. I’ve participated in a lot of professional development but this was the first that centered the holistic needs of professionals of color. I gained a lot of insights about work but most of my most profound takeaways were about how I can be better as a husband, father, son, and human. I also gained an extended family of beautiful changemakers across the country. Immense gratitude to Idrissa Simmonds-Nastili, Jenny Brooks and the Cohort 9 moderators, Angela Cobb and Vanessa Rodriguez, for creating a powerful community and life-changing experience.
TeenSHARP Turns Ten
We started TeenSHARP as a program at our church in 2009 and couldn’t have imagined that we would still be at it a decade later. We started with nine students in 2009 and are now serving a few hundred students across our Delaware and New Jersey sites.
We had our largest class of seniors ever in 2019 and have continued to help our students earn their way into top colleges with great financial aid. The work is taxing but there are so many moments like these below that energize and inspire us.
Student Voice Week
There were several moments that rise to the surface as memorable from the work that I lead with DelawareCAN: The Delaware Campaign for Achievement Now. We collaborated with TeenSHARP to organize Delaware’s first College Access Advocacy Day. We launched the first education advocacy fellowship training program for Latino leaders across Delaware. We secured policy wins and we released first-of-its-kind research! We were awarded a substantial multi-year grant from the Longwood Foundation. But if I had to choose a moment that is representative of the year, I’d go with the 35 hours I spent with the 30 high school students in our first Student Voice Week intensive advocacy training. The students were fired up about learning and making change and we just had a lot of fun together.
Fun at Farms
Tatiana sees to it that we spend a lot of time at farms every summer. We have Cherry Crest Adventure Farm (my favorite), Linvilla, Milburn Orchard, Woodside Farm Creamery, University of Delaware UDairy Creamery to thank for many special moments in 2019.
Fun with Family
This is an area in which we’re striving to go deeper in 2020. With the hustle of work and the 3-PAC we don’t spend nearly enough time connecting with our family members. But we’re grateful for the assortment of moments we’ve shared with family in 2019. From the shenanigans with family members on our Marco Polo group chat and text message threads, to my mother turning 75 years old, to Tatiana’s mother visiting us from Ukraine, to hosting family members at our house on Thanksgiving and Christmas, to time with Zoryana’s godfather in Boston……we’re extremely grateful.
Bonus: In Memoriam
If you’re still reading at this point, I feel compelled to recognize the many moments my family shared at Bull Bay Caribbean Cuisine before I wrap up this review of 2019. Bull Bay’s owner and executive chef, Mark White, died in August 2019 at age 49.
A month earlier Mark texted me to invite Zoryana to the restaurant for a surprise 6th birthday party for his son Tristan. Tristan used to attend school with Zoryana and they always played together at the restaurant whenever we were dining in. The food was excellent and it was one of the rare family-friendly restaurants. Mark would often surprise us with a “Dropper” on the house —plantains Foster flambéed with rum and sugar, then topped with ice cream. I hosted my launch fundraiser for the DelawareCAN political action committee at Bull Bay and the staff awards dinner for all of my coworkers from across the country when the 50CAN Summit was hosted in Delaware. Mark’s generosity of spirit, love, and warmth was all over the restaurant and he undoubtedly left an imprint on many others just like he did with us. He is sorely missed.
